


Nightshade

by erericultist



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aging, Angst, Blood, Childhood Sweethearts, Death, Demons, Fantasy, Fluff, Ghosts, Gore, Goth - Freeform, Gothic, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hallucinations, Hauntings, Horror, M/M, Maturing, Nature, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Paranormal, Poison, Possible mental disorders-free to interpretation, Priests, Psychological, Spirits, Thriller, Victorian era, child ereris, dark secrets, dark themes, depictions of degrading mental health, ereri, innocent relationship, mentioned Homophobia, mythological creatures, platonic ereri - Freeform, references to murder, riren - Freeform, rivaere - Freeform, victorian au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:57:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14322021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erericultist/pseuds/erericultist
Summary: Isolated on the country side, a manor sits atop a hill, a forest encompassing it for as far as the eye can see. Innocent upon the eye's meeting, it is. When Levi's mother falls ill, they are unable to take her to town for doctor visits, thus Dr.Grisha comes to see them weekly. Levi is a rather soft boy, gentle at heart and mind. Coddled by his mother, and no fellow children of his age to play with, his only friends are of porcelain and plush. As Levi's mother, Kutchel's, illness furthers, her ability to shelter her son from her brother, Kenny, withers.Kenny defines his nephew as an absolute "sissy" and other terms of disgust. He shares these concerns with Dr.Grisha, who mentions he has a son, and further proposes to bring him along on his weekly visits. Kenny ushers Levi to befriend this boy, who goes by the name of Eren and withholds a far more rowdy nature than him.





	1. 1. A Seed

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome! I've been working on this story since last summer, I finished writing it some time around the new year of 2018? Unsure, but here I am, months later, still editing it! I'm going back and fixing the old parts (early chapters) because my writing style did develop and change a lot throughout writing this. But for now, I hope you enjoy!

Alone in a garden of statues, weaving ivy and anything that could grow unkempt, is a little boy. Surrounded by a porcelain tea-set and his favorite toys is all the company he could ask for. He'd chosen a grassy spot by the weeping willow tree, a few feet off from the bricked labyrinth throughout the garden. It is a sanctuary to him, he comes here when he grows drear of being confined in the manor atop a hill.  
The sun shines brightly, the lax branches of the willow provide the child some shade as he chatters with his stuffed bear who has only one button eye situated across from him. Its brown, faux fur is matted. It has a blue ribbon at its neck, tattered and seams splitting for bits of cotton to bustle through. Not that any of that mattered to the boy, he would take his stuffed bear everywhere with him, and its wear and tear only showed that it is greatly loved.  
With growing up alone in a family of nobles and money flowing through his bloodline, there aren't any other children for him to play with. Before his mother fell ill, she would often take him into town to the local shops and let him browse or pick out sweets to later let him try to play with the other children in the park. The other boys he often met were rowdy, had no liking for tea or stuffed toys, and the girls who did, thought him to be silly for wanting to join them.  
Perhaps his mother's coddling is at fault, for she always encouraged her son to do as he liked instead of gearing him towards the other activities young boys 'should' be doing— as his uncle often lectures. The man would chastise his sister for raising a 'fag' and that his nephew is unfit to carry the family name.  
The boy didn't know what any of those words meant, only that they hurt his mother, her expression would range from sour to sullen every time his uncle spoke of him. None her brother's harsh words rendered her from looking at her child adoringly. She knows her son are none of those things, for he is simply too gentle of a soul for a crude man such as her brother to understand.  
Butterflies dance and twirl around one another in the gentle breeze. Only the rustling of branches and leaves could be heard other than the lonesome child. His mother was the one to tend to this massive garden. Without her, foxglove, wild roses, hydrangea, and wisteria all grew in competition. They snuffed out his favorite flower, the daisy. Here and there, one may find a sickly bud, suffocating in the shadow of another flower.  
"Levi!" A gruff voice calls from in the distance just as the child began to pour his bear another serving of tea. The sudden shouting startled him, causing him to clack the porcelain together and topple the teacup over. His uncle, Kenny, approaches with a cigar dangling between his colorless chapped lips. His thick brows knit together in a glare as he stomped through the garden. Levi captures a glimpse of this man's expression just over the hedge of the boxwood bush.  
Levi scrambles to gather his tea set, knowing that his uncle couldn't catch him playing with it. To futile efforts, his uncle already rounded the corner, spotting the child. "The doctor is about to visit and you're here?" His uncle raises his voice, making Levi freeze, his glass, blue eyes growing wide as his uncle continued to scold him, "Playing with that damn tea shit that I told your mother to take away from you!"  
"I-I didn't kno-" Levi stammers out as he reaches for his bear, wishing to hug it to his chest for security.  
His uncle spits out his cigar, crushing it under his foot before charging forwards and snatching the bear from his nephew's arms— kicking the tea set from his way.  
"No! Give him back!" Levi's voice gains in pitch as his uncle flashed him a malevolent grin. His hands latch at the base of the bear's body and head. Levi is rendered to trying to hop on the tips of his toes, reaching up for as high as he can, but his uncle is just far too tall.  
With one swift shred, the head of the bear falls to the ground, tears already pouring down Levi's cheeks. Its blue ribbon cascades to the ground through the breeze. Kenny tosses the remnants of the bear into Levi's arms.  
"Clean yourself up," Kenny growls, "and hurry up and get back inside." He saunters off.  
Levi sniffles, whining quietly as he tilts the body of his bear to see where the head was torn clean off. His gaze trails up to the bear's head, he shuffles forward to it. He only cries harder as he attempts to piece his bear back together.  
...  
Levi peaks through the door to his mother's room, tears still staining his cheeks with his nose bright red and running. He sniffles, clutching his bear's components in his arms as he enters. His mother is faced away, lying on her bed, as usual. She'd only became bedridden as of recently, her body slowly deteriorating and her thin legs can no longer support her. She struggles with eating, keeping food down is now a struggle for her. Usually, she would hear Levi'sscuffling, and look over to greet him with a smile, but she doesn't move any. Maybe she is sad, too.  
Levi sets his bear and its head on the edge of his mother's bed. The bed itself comes up to his chest, meaning he'd have to hoist himself up if he wished to meet eyes with his mother. "Momma," he pipes up as his petite hands paw the mattress and grip the blankets. He swings his leg over the edge, propping off of his tip-toes to give him the leverage to get up. His mother payed no attention to him, or perhaps she did acknowledge him, but lacks the strength to express it.  
After a good struggle, Levi successfully claws himself to the top of the bed. He scans his mother's form, she's more frail that she has ever been. Even under the heaps of blankets, her hips protrude angularly and limbs disappeared into the mattress. "Mommmaa!" Levi reaches out and gives his mother a gentle shake, "Uncle Kenny hurt bear!" He whines quietly, feeling his throat grow tight at the thought of how the seams shredded apart so easily in his uncle's grasp.  
Silence.  
Levi crawls over his mother, giving her side a push so that she may lie on her back.  
His mother greets him with a faint smile, the color from her flesh was drained to a pallid grey. Her veins show darkly and prominent under her skin. Her flesh was once a rosy porcelain, doe-blue eyes illuminated with vigor and hair that appeared as silky, ink, waves that cascaded to her hips. Now that had all diminished, only a mere shadow of the vibrant beauty she once was. Her son mirrors her beauty near perfectly, only his eyes were more of ice, like his father's.  
"What is it, little bird?" His mother's hand slipps from the covers, shakily brushing Levi's hair from his face.  
"Didn't you hear?" Levi grabs his bear and clutches it to his chest, sniffling as his gaze is blurs with tears, again. "He's hurt."  
Levi's mother frowns, "how did this happen?"  
"Kutchel!" Kenny's throaty voice barks from down the hallway, making both Kutchel and Levi flinch. A rush of panic courses through Levi, unable to decide what he should do. If his uncle finds him like this, surely the bad words that makes his mother sad will come of it.  
"Give it here," his mother whispers hoarsely under her breath, insisting with an open palm.  
"But!" Levi whines as he clutches his bear tighter to his chest, not wishing to part with it.  
His uncle's footsteps draw near, leaving Levi with no other choice, but to hand over his beloved bear for his mother to conceal it below the blankets. Kenny comes to a swiveling halt in the doorway, "sweet sister," Kenny smiled, eyes glazed with what is presumably intoxication.  
"What is it?" Kutchel attempts to hiss back spitefully, but her voice drops into a whisper as her strength dissipates rapidly. Their relationship had always been some form of a rivalry. Kutchel is the favored child, loved the most and when their father passed, the Ackerman legacy was bestowed onto her and her family so that her children may do the same. Kenny, despite being oldest, got nothing. As a child, he didn't know why his sister is so special, he envied her. It sickens him to know that he only remained in the manor out of his Kutchel's pity.  
Kenny licks his lips, giving his mustache an itch, "Dr.Jaeger has arrived." His eyes trail to his nephew, "he brought his son with him." Kenny aims an index to Levi, "he's a lot tough' than you. Maybe you oughtta' make friends wit' em and take example." Levi's uncle steps aside, his point falling away as he holds the door open for a— slightly less taller— man to enter.  
He wears a long brown waist coat with a double row set of buttons going down his broad chest. He is white collared, black leather gloved and at his feet are tall black boots that his trousers stuffed into; just below the shins. Resting upon his nose is a small, circular set of spectacles whilst his hand grips a large briefcase. Levi stares shamelessly, despite being taught to not to do so. He spots a small, tan, pair of hands gripping the skirt of the doctor's coat. Just peaking from behind him is a set of glossy emerald eyes and a head full of messy brown hair; locking eyes with Levi.  
The doctor smiles widely, "g'day Ms.Ackerman," the man gives a slight bow to Kutchel, "Your brother suggested that the young lord is in need of a playmate." He gestures behind himself for his son to step forward, a thin little boy, maybe a little younger than Levi. However, he is not thin like Levi, who is delicate, this child is more muscular, covered in cuts and scrapes. His unruly appearance does not fit the short trousers and dark, green button coat he wears. Rascals like him ought to wear the coveralls stitched from potato sacks and tattered white linen for shirts; catching rats in the streets for money.  
Levi bites his lip, gripping the blankets under him. This boy is surely to throw rocks at him or taunt him. He looks to be so— rowdy. How would he ever make friends with such a boy?  
"Go on." Kutchel gives her son a clap on the ass, making Levi shake from his thoughts. As Levi went to slip off the blankets, Kutchel reaches up and pulls him down to plant a loving kiss on his noggin, "Be safe and try to have fun." She whispers for only Levi to hear.  
Now free to go, Levi jumps from the bed. He turns to gaze at the blankets of his mother's bed mournfully, wishing that he had his precious bear with him. Averting, he meets eyes with the other boy.  
They scrutinize one another up and down, the unfamiliar boy's nose crinkling in the slightest. "I'm Eren." The boy put out a small hand for the Levi to take; albeit Levi did not comply.  
He stares at the hand for a moment then crosses his arms, "I'm Levi."  
Eren lets his hand fall, chewing the inside of his cheek and swinging his arms. A bit of embarrassment tinges at his cheeks. If Levi's mother had the strength, he'd be smacked over the head for his rudeness. Levi cannot see how he is of blame. He doesn't know this boy and his attempts at making friends before have ended sourly. He is not keen on being alone with this— Eren— what if he were to break his tea set or hurt him?  
Levi's gaze flickers up to the doctor, who isn't wearing a pleased expression. Guilted, Levi reaches out and takes Eren's hand in his. "Want a tour of the manor?"  
Eren's face immediately lights up, a big smile taking place on his cheeky features. He nods fervently. He grips Levi's hand in return, "yes please!"  
...  
Eren— he's different. Levi regrets all of his doubt from before. Eren is kind, perhaps a little klutzy— he tripped many times on the tapestries and stairs— but still kind. Inquisitive as well, asking multiple questions about the manor, about Levi, about his 'friends' (who Levi lied about having).  
"Who are they?" Eren suddenly inquires from behind Levi, making him swivel around to see that Eren parked in front a painting of his parents. Levi's expression softens, trotting down a few steps to stand beside Eren on the landing.  
"My mother," Levi points at the woman in the painting, dressed in ivory and pearls. Her thick, ebony locks cascade down in loose curls. Her frame so dainty and petite, the youth still in her cheeks. At her side is a man Levi never knew, much taller than her— towering, even. His hair is a dark brown, with sharper and more refined features and broad shoulders. He dressed in a dark wine color, his undershirt and cravat being black with rubies. His charcoal-brown hair was parted to the side and slicked to the side with one lock to fall about his forehead. Levi presses his lips together, letting his index drift before pointing to the man, "And my father."  
Eren tilts his head aside, looking at the couple in the painting and then to Levi. He purses his lips, "you look more like your ma." He pauses a moment, leaning in close to Levi's face; causing him to shuffle back on a foot. His gaze turns back to the painting, "how come I haven't saw your pa, yet? Does he work?"  
Levi shakes his head, "my mother said that he lives with Angels."  
"Oh," Eren murmurs, quietly, peering down to scuffle his toes together. "At least you still have someone who loves you." Eren's tone drops morosely, causing Levi to raise a brow. Why would he say that? He spoke with an implication of— jealousy? None of the spiteful sort, though.  
Levi lets out a sigh after a brief silence, causing the Eren's attention to revert to him. "You want to see the play room or not?" Levi cocks his head aside with fists pressed into his little hips.  
"Yes!" Eren nods, already lunging to take a big step forward with grip smacked onto the railing.  
...  
The playroom takes residence in the attic, at the end of a narrow staircase. The door is a deep mahogany, carved out into a point with a crystal knob. It holds an arid musk, the heat from the bottom floors having rose and trapped between the wooden beams. The corridor itself is windowless and dark, with the exception of the near candle sconce.  
Levi would come here and spend hours until curfew. At times, he'd even sneak away in the night to visit his favorite dolls and bears. This is a place that Kenny knew naught of, or perhaps one that he never dared the labor of hiking the stairs. Whichever be it so, Levi bides hours here when evading the rackets of his home. Despite the manor having grown rather solemn since his mother befallen her illness, rendering there no more rackets to escape from. This place is still very special to Levi, and his heart thudded at the thought of sharing it with someone else.  
Levi clasps the knob and gave it a jerking turn with a swift push, the door creaked ajar. From the other side pours the incense of lilacs and other sweet fragrances; accompanied by the noon's sunlight beaming through the reading nook. Eren stands on his tip-toes to catch a glimpse of the room on the other side. The walls are painted a baby blue and decorated in all kinds of stencils— ivy and wisteria. Levi pushes the door open, revealing a nook where the sun peers through. It rises off the floor some with a shelf brimmed in books below it, pillows compiled on the top. Either side drapes navy blue curtains, their fringes cluttered several letter blocks and other toys.  
The air leaves Eren's lungs to be drawn in sharply all over again in awe. From rocking horse, to teddy, to wooden swords— to tea set? Eren's surprise drained into befuddlement, watching the Levi trot gleefully to a table in the center. Dolls are seated around it with only the head chair available. Levi goes for one of the porcelain dolls, scooping her up from under her arms. His cheeks almost burning the same shade pink as hers were painted. She is rather worn, her brunette braids wiry and stuck out from their bows and she has a chipped nose.  
"What's that, Miss? You wish to be excused? Just in time, we have a new guest arriving shortly!" Levi scuffles over to a nearby crib. Eren remains frozen in the doorway, watching Levi tuck this doll in as though it were to be one of the living. When done cooing his doll to sleep, Levi's icy gaze flickers back to the 'guest'.  
Levi drifts away from the doll crib with pressed lips, he is embarrassed. He holds hopes that Eren won't be giving him that look, the look that says he finds him to be queer or a sissy for liking such things. Eren had yet to call him any of those things, nor to even move. Levi stands up straight with the rub of his elbow, refusing the meet the Eren's scalding emerald gaze. Scalding because they're unmoving, Levi could swear they're about to bore holes into him.  
"Do you find me queer?" Levi murmured as he taps the toe of his oxfords against the crib peg.  
Eren gives his head a shake, not that Levi saw, "no." He replies flatly.  
Levi had braced himself for the opposite, the latter throwing him off guard. "Really?" Levi's voice lilts in disbelief. Dragging away from the crib, his gloomy, pale features having a small smile on them. He trots up to Eren and takes him by the hands, "then you surely mustn't lag any longer and join us!"  
Eren's cheeks flush pink as from their hands being intertwined. His eyes flit to Levi's smile, to their interlocked holds, and to the doll table that awaits them. Something about the cheerful glimmer in Levi's eyes puts a thrum in Eren's chest; he doesn't know why. Eren smiles shy back, accompanied by a nervous nod. Levi is already dragging him along. Eren could blame his fluster on being made to play tea-party, but he holds no qualms to that whatsoever. It's Levi's smile, it makes him... Fuzzy. It is a warm one, filling his chest to the brim and taking the weight away from his head and toes. It brings the thought to his mind— 'what can I do to make him smile again?'  
Levi guides Eren to his seat, pulling it out for him and eagerly making him sit by the shoulders before running around to the other side of the table to take his seat. Eren may have thought he'd be discomforted by the scenario, but within a few minutes, he begins to relax into it and really enjoyed himself. Pouring tea with each other, pretending to have the newest gossip. Eren even got the chance to gloat over is little escapades— with tiny fabrications added— with Levi fully engaged.  
...  
Thus, something blossoms within them both. Levi makes his first friend who is made of flesh rather than porcelain or fabric. As for Eren, he accompanies his father to Lady Ackerman's treatments with more enthusiasm, eager to visit his playmate. As their bond grew, as did Levi's mother's illness. Each visit may be accompanied with joy of the boy's get-together, but his presence serves as a reminder that his mother is continuously withering in health, and not making any improvements. Levi is not utterly daft, despite no one bluntly informing him of what is happening to her, he has his own eyes to see it. Even so, his mother promised to her little bird that everything is fine, no matter how faint her voice grows, how frail her bones became. She still wishes to hold her son in her lap, to read him stories by the window, whatever her strength may permit— and then some.


	2. 2. Sprout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time has passed, and Eren and Levi grow closer each visit. Eren may now, finally, feel close enough with Levi to tell him more about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W.

...  
Eren totters from side to side, arms outstretched for balance as he carefully places one foot in front of the other. Levi sits not far from where Eren balances on the stone walls— which only rises up a little higher than their own heights— stacking sticks together. He's attempting to build a house, a doll house. His constructive capabilities are minimalistic, his attempt at the house is constantly crumbling, and when it's not, it looks like just any old pile of sticks. By the eighth failure, he sighs aloud, frowning at the pile that honestly looked the same as before.  
His gaze flickers Eren, leaning forward to put his chin in his hands and watch Eren walk determinedly. During their visits, Eren and Levi often run off together, and one of Levi's favorite getaway places being the garden— they often find themselves here. It's hard to always stay inside, especially now with autumn's crisp breeze rolling in, they had to cherish every moment they got outside before being locked away for the bitter winter to come.   
Eren seems to be getting taller by the day, his clothes growing smaller in comparison to his young body. With his arms raised, his belly pokes out from his untucked shirt and his high-water pants reveal his ankles. Even the sleeves of his arms reel back a few inches. Levi gazes over the exposed areas absently, wandering into thought if he could ever grow as exponentially as Eren. Maybe he he is just late, and he—  
Levi raises his head as his brows knit together in bewilderment, Eren's ankles... Purple and blue splotches cover them, did he fall? That's an odd place to get bruises from a fall. His gaze flickers upwards, squinting to distinguish even more of the marks dotted his belly. Dark purple rings shackle at his wrists.  
"Eren?" Levi sticks out a finger, choosing to direct them at Eren's feet. "What are those?"  
Eren stops his stride for a moment, turning to face Levi with a large smile stretching across his rosy cheeks. He looks down to where Levi is pointing, tapping the toes of his shoes together. "Feet?" He replies, hopping down from the wall with a little "oof!" and catching himself on all fours.  
"No, above them, your ankles..." Levi shook his head as he stood up, strolling over to the brunette. "How'd you get them?"  
Eren instinctively knew what Levi is referring to, the cheerful smile on his face diminishes; along with his mood. "It's just from playing." He covers, shifting to turn away while he fumbles the hem of his shirt between his fingers. The edges of the brunette's ears flush a dark shade of red, if the rest of his demeanor hasn't already gave him away.  
Levi frowns, reaching for one of Eren's hands, gently clasping them in between both of his own. Eren pauses, his attention flickering to his cradled palm, and to Levi's blank expression. Levi's face is often unreadable, rendering his predictability to almost nonexistent. Eren's cheeks burn in follow of his ears. His lips part to exclaim in confusion, but one of Levi's hands slipping down his wrist hushed him. With one swift tug, Levi exposes the finger marks on Eren's wrist. Eren's heart plummets, gasping, he yanks his hand away; quickly readjusting his sleeves.  
"Don't do that!" He barks at Levi in fluster, who stiffens at Eren's abrupt volume.   
Eren crosses his arms, glaring at the ground. His gaze turns to Levi a briefly, who stood there, staring. Eren's throat tightens as tears obscure up in his vision, shoulders falling lax. He doesn't dare to do so much as sniffle or whine. He locks eyes with Levi, swallowing a lump in his throat.   
Eren lets out a rugged sigh, he can trust Levi, right? "If I tell you..." Eren's eyes skim over their surroundings precariously. "You can't tell anyone else..." Eren lets one of his arms fall from their place and dangle at his side, his other hand clutching the fabric at his elbow. His father made him promise not to tell anyone, anyone.   
He fears the repercussions of his father learning that he broke his promise.  
He watches Levi give a slow nod, Levi's features softening to an attentive expression. "They.. they're from my dad." He murmurs softly, feeling his knees begin to grow weak under him. He lost his mother at a very young age, even younger than he is now. It was a horrific accident, really. Eren was only a young tot, learning how to walk on his own. His mother had taken him out to the market to see all the pretty, vibrant fruits and other trinkets that merchants had to sell. His mother only let go of his hand for a moment, just a moment, to examine a basket and Eren's explorative nature had set him off. He remembers vaguely that he trotted off into the road, horse-drawn carriages stampeding against the cobblestone with carriage wheels hitting every ridge and bump possible. Nonetheless, when his mother turned around to find her son amiss, her eyes instinctively went for the road, where Eren stood smack dab in the middle. A bright and daft smile on his innocent cheeks and waving at every carriage that sped by, unaware of the carriage driver hurtling right toward him. His mother let out a shrill for him. Eren's gaze had turned to hers, time stalling, outstretching his arms as he went to run for her.  
The last Eren remembers of the event is his mother dropping everything to run for him, instead of scooping him up, she gave him a powerful shove that knocked him out of the way. What followed was the sound of meres shrieking and wood splintering... The howls of horror emanating from the onlookers of the streets. Back then, Eren didn't understand the calamity, he doesn't even remember everything he saw. Years have distorted and suppressed any visage of it. His father mourned for a great long time, and for a long time, he couldn't meet his eyes. He'd been left neglected, there were times that his father would ignore him for so long that Eren would grow so weak and hungry that he couldn't stand on his own. After a while of Eren relentlessly pulling at his father's jacket or sitting outside his door; his father finally looked at him.  
It was only to strike him away, like some insect that had no place near him. The tears that rolled down Eren's cheeks must have been so gratifying for his father that he had the urge to do it again, and again. After that, he begun to feed Eren more, but with the more interaction, the more aggression Eren was treated with. He knows his father hates him. The day he mustered up enough courage to ask his father why he does, he only replied with 'you killed my wife'.  
Levi's brows furrow, "he does... those things... to you?"   
Eren doesn't reply, biting his lips together, thinking of the rough way his father handles him. His current marks are not of deliberate abuse, no, they're a conglomeration of time. Before one bruise could fade, another is surely to surface somewhere else over his petite body or new ones splotch over the old blemishes. His father would even hurt him in public places, around multiple people so Eren cannot vocalize his pain. It's just subtle enough to get away with, but more than enough to leave its mark on Eren— deeper than what meets the eye. Such as the marks on his wrists, they're merely from his father's crushing grip when leading him through town.   
Levi's heart sinks. He can't call the emotion swallowing him to be pity— but he empathizes with Eren. He may not show signs of the physical abuse... but his uncle's harsh words often weighed on him, echoing in his mind every time he played with his toys. He doesn't know all of the word's meanings, but knew how they cut deeply.   
Levi outstretches his arms, pulling in an unsuspecting Eren for a hug. Levi buries his face into Eren's clavicle, his grubby, little hands fisting the fabric at Eren's shoulder blades.   
"You can marry me." Levi murmurs, his voice muffled into Eren's chest.   
Eren's cheeks flush, dumbfounded. This is the first he's been embraced in... he doesn't know. He stands rigid with a hammering heart, tears threatening to pour down his cheeks. What was that Levi grumbled? Marriage? Before Eren could exclaim in his befuddled protest, Levi raises his head and meets eyes with him.  
"We can get married and you can live on my estate! You'll never have to see your dad again! You can enjoy all of the sweets in the world, and we can visit the garden every day, just like today! I'll make sure he never hurts you, and you can be happy!" A bold proclamation.   
These sweet words honey Eren with delight, he smiles. He gives a hysteric chuckle, closing his eyes to let the tears spill. Two men? Married? In comparison to the idea of Eren never seeing his father again and not having to live in fear of being hurt— it isn't so fictional. Eren wants to deny it, tell Levi that it is impossible, but as he parts his lips to speak, the hopeful glimmer in Levi's eyes stop him. It's subtle, just as everything else about Levi, but his crystal eyes make Eren wish he could just crumble and weep.  
"Does it... sound good?" Levi's hold gradually slips from Eren's slender frame. His expectant gaze unwavering, trying to read the emotion in Eren's expression. The smile on Eren's face may have only lasted a moment, but Levi cherishes it greatly, it was unlike his usual smiles. It out shines every other one of his cheerful expressions, shaming them. Not that they weren't lovely, Levi would not of known their perfected feign if he hadn't of saw this one just now. Levi internally wishes that it hadn't dissipated so quickly, that he could gaze upon Eren to always be so liberated and— loved.   
Eren reaches for Levi's hands, gripping either one in his hold gently. His doe eyes dropping to them— Levi's complexion is so fair and pallid in comparison to his own, ruddy, caramel one. He pushes out a heavy sigh, trying to picture them both one day. He imagines something like Kings out of a story book, they have no need for queens when they have each other. Crowns atop their heads and precious robes swaddling their adult statures, while striding down an isle of moss with sprites dancing in cheer. He purses his lips, exploring the idea further. It is nothing that was ever recorded in the fables his mother used to tell him, nothing he ever heard adults speak of. And yet— his heart thuds so rhythmically to the idea— as though it is singing that nothing could be more right.  
The gentle squeeze Levi gives to Eren's hands reminds him to not tarry in his reverie for too long without giving Levi a response. "I'd love to be your husband." He speaks finally, making Levi's features illuminate with exuberance.  
"Pinky swear it!" Levi juts his pinky out in expectation of Eren to link his own.  
Eren smirks a little, raising his own pinky. A firm and heavy hand claps over Eren's shoulder, making him go rigid with icy shudders. His eyes widen, locking Levi's, who stared up with a sense of awe Eren has never witnessed him adorning before. It's as though he is staring up to some beast with fresh blood dripping from its muzzle— a look with little to process, but awareness of the monstrosity.   
Eren automatically knows this hand, it's weight, the calloused pads of his the fingertips all too well. He also knows the kind of force it could possess or the crushing grip. His pinky drifts down, wringing his hands together. His father's hand slips up the nape of his neck and to his head to ruffle the chocolatey locks. Grisha lets out a hearty chuckle, "I'm sorry to tear you two apart, but it's time Eren and I head home. You can play together next time." Grisha grins wolfishly, visibly rousing discomfort in Levi as he nodded. Perhaps the smile would not appear so ominous if he didn't know what Grisha is capable of... he will never gaze upon the man with a clear conscience again. All that Levi can think of is how those bruises came to blemishing Eren's body... his heart aches.  
"Bye... Eren." Levi gives a sheepish wave as Eren's father begins to drag him away. Eren refuses tear his eyes from Levi, glancing over his shoulder and stumbling about until he couldn't anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch any foreshadowing?   
> Any predictions?


	3. 3. Sapling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blur between reality and nightmare grows faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay on getting this update to you guys! It's a lot to edit!!

 ...  
A thunder of hooves kick up the earth below it, dangling branches and leaves being smacked out of their paths. At the steady beat of drums, Levi's heart thrums into his ears, to his finger tips and even to the bares of his feet. Lungs burning and vision blurry. He fears every rush of the blood in his veins sings to them, giving away his every movement. He knows naught of where he is, how he got here, only that he is hunted by an unanimous source.

His worth is nothing more than a little fox in the wood, fur so vibrant and desirable for the skinning. The land is so cold... So very cold. The frost bites into his bare feet, numbing him from the prickly leaves and sticks below. His little legs can only take him so far. He steals glances behind himself to see the shadows moving amongst the trees, hearing them so vividly, but see them not.

The branches whip against his body, taking whatever fabric that clung to him with it. He tries holding his hands above his face to block the brush, squeezing his eyes shut and running wherever his legs may take him. It ultimately does nothing to render the occasional thwack that burns and cause shades of crimson to dribble down his cheeks. Unearthly shrilling emanates from behind him, making his heart clench in demand as he propels himself forward in renewed vigor.

The ground under him grows hot, as does the air. A new bead of sweat trickles down his scalp. He staggers to a slow, taking in his new surroundings with a heaving chest. The sun towers high in the middle of the sky, instead of trees, brick buildings stand on either side of him. He's in a sea of people, however, not one touched him. They walked in unison and diverge just far enough around him that he may stick his arms out as far as he can without touching anyone.

His eyes scour the faceless people, craning his neck all the way back in hopes of catching glimpse of one. To his misfortune, the sun's rays blot out their silhouettes and make it impossible to distinguish so much as one feature. He swallows thickly, putting one foot in front of the other. The crowd accommodates his movements, gaining courage, he presses forward more.

No one does so much as acknowledge him, so how do they know he is there to move for him? His ears attune to the faint sound of galloping, the same as before. His eyes frantically dart around for the source. The clops only grow louder the longer he dallies. Kicking up his aching feet once more, he shoves through the hoard of people. He isn't going to last for long, he's going to tire out, he's going to tire out.

Amongst fleeting glances, his eyes catch one face. A face of cherry cheeks, rhubarb lips and doe eyes. A face that belonged to no other than Eren, his Eren. Just in the midst of stalking legs that shift amongst the crowd, he can see him in the distance, free from the swarm of people. Levi pushes out a sigh of relief, never did he know that he could find so much comfort in the face of a friend.

Something isn't right.

He's waving, coyly, not at Levi, not at anyone, to nothing. Before Levi could stare any longer, he clobbers into something— or someone— solid. He collapses back onto his bum, grimacing in pain. Wrenching open his eyes, he raises a palm to shield himself from the perilous sun. He then sees it was a man he slammed into. The man stands tall in stature, jaunty shoulders that were as wide as wooden planks, legs that went up too high and a torso that looked scrunched. Long, ink hair met his mid-back, instinctually reminding Levi of his uncle. He draws in a shallow breath in premonition to speak, scooting back on his butt and palms.

The man twitches, fingers flexing. His head snaps around on his shoulders, eyelessly glowering down at Levi. Levi's heart sinks frigidly, the blood in his veins solidifying. The man's face is horribly mutilated, masses of flesh grown over his eyes. The crown of his skull is exposed, blown open with his flesh splayed about; held by only skin and veins. He has no cheekbones, no nose or eyebrows. Only a pair of blackened lips hang to his face, loosely, with a charcoal-like substance leaking from them and down his blemished, gnarly flesh.

Levi wishes to let out a shrill, the sound of the market flooding his ears deafeningly. A scream of horror breaks the air, but not from him. His gaze darts away from the creature, to the distance that he saw Eren. Mares of black hide stampede in the crossbar, catching glimpses of the other boy's innocent face.

Levi scrambles to his feet with a new initiative. He reaches out, trying to holler for his friend, running to the side of the road. A woman in white surges past him, halting him in his tracks, long brunette hair cascading behind her. Just as she ran into traffic, Levi spots a carriage hurtling towards her. He shuts his eyes as he the shrill of horses and the stampede coming to a halt. The god-awful sound of flesh being severed sends shudders down his spine.

Something tumbles to his feet, he dares to peak open an eye. He is met with his own mother's devoid face. Her head severed clean at the neck with her raven curls splayed onto the ground below her; interlacing with the torrents of gore.

...

Levi lurches awake, gasping out audibly as his hands surge out through the sheets to grasp them. He pushes himself up, eyes boring into the darkness of his bedroom. It was all just a dream? No, that was no dream, it's what his mother would have called a nightmare. He can still feel the soft coos of slumber pulling at his senses, beckoning him to roll back over and shut his eyes... just for a little bit. He refuses anything of the sort, fearing that he may only delve into that horror once more.

As his senses adjust to consciousness, his attention draws to the boisterous pattering against his window, the sky outside rumbling. Light flickers in the distance, sending flashes of white through the room. He grips his bedding tightly, slumping back into his pillow.

A loud crack whips through the air, causing Levi to jolt in his bones, reminding him of the stampede of hooves he was desperately trying to escape from not so long ago. He opts to slink under the refuge of his blankets, only his eyes peaking above the covers. He doesn't have any comprehension of his dream, whatsoever.  
Nor does want to dwell on it, or he'd begin to see the blackness around him take shapes to scare him out of paranoia.

He can't erase the thought of that woman, how she looked unlike anyone he's ever met, and how she ended up to be his mother. Levi's eyes tear up, hastily rubbing his eyes and sniffling. Nights like this, he used to go running to sleep with his mother. As of recently, his uncle barred him from doing so, claiming Levi should stop being such a pussy. Levi didn't know what his bad dreams had to do with cats, but he is afraid of being caught by Kenny if he tries to sneak to his mother's room. With Kutchel's declining health, Levi didn't wish to perturb her slumber with such petty trifles.

Lightning flashes in the distance, illuminating the room for a millisecond before the sky clashes together for a reverberating boom. Instead of yelping in fear, he merely froze. Just for a moment, he stopped thinking and listens, his tea sets and porcelain toys rattling subtly in their places. Maybe if he is quiet enough, he can hear past the howling of the wind or pattering of rain. Maybe he would just hear serenity.

Hesitantly, he sits back up, letting his blankets fall back into his lap. Eyes focused on the large window, he slips from his bed. The wooden floors creak under his weight, the cold unwelcoming to his bare legs and feet. He is only in a thin, white night gown, as most children his age. Turning around, he latches onto one of the blankets and gives a rough tug to pull one off, swaddling himself in it before continuing to shuffle over to his window.

The sill comes up to about his chest, not long ago, he had to use the tips of his toes to see outside. Thick oak trees sway and rustle in the wind, the grass on hills as far as he can see before being engulfed by the tree line pressed flatly against the ground. Deep in the forest, he can spot lightning striking the occasional tree, sending light through the woodland around it before disappearing.

His thoughts waver to Eren, wondering if he's awake right now, too. Unable to sleep with the storm's rage just outside of his window. He doesn't want to wait till they were old enough to marry, he wanted to hide Eren away here. Maybe they could live together, and stay up past bed time, telling scary stories at the flicker of a candle light. It's more realistic than his vow to take Eren's hand in marriage...

He frowns to himself, turning away and glancing at the door on the other side of his bed. It looks to stretch an entire corridor away, endlessly into the darkness. He could still distinguish the frame, towering highly as ever.

Maybe if Eren was here, he'd be able to lead Levi through the dark without falter. Levi inhales deeply, creeping forward, avoiding the perimeter of his bed; glowering at the abyss under it. He doesn't know of what ghouls or other monsters would gladly snatch him by the ankles.

The next crack of thunder ushered the child to hasten his pace, trotting to the door and clapping both of his hands over the knob and fighting with the knob to yank the door open. Chilly air washed over him as the endless corridor is splayed out before him.

He pokes his head out, gazing upon either end. Darkness shroud either one, although just a glimmer of light lingers from a cracked door not too far from his own. It's one of the lounge rooms, specifically his uncle's. It was where his grand father and father would relax and smoke cigars by the fire after a good hunt, as he was told. Levi had only been alive to see dust and cobwebs gather in the nooks and crannies.

Buzzing with curiosity and longing for warmth, he opts to investigate. Who would be up at this hour? Certainly not due to the same petulant reasons as he is. He hasn't saw that room in use for as long as he can remember. His mother is out of the question, it can only be his uncle. He bites his lip, trying to suppress the thought of the repercussions if his uncle catches him— particularly depending on the Kenny's mood.

He slinks into the dark hallway; his blanket dragging on the floor below him. As he grows closer, his ears keen on the soft cracks of the hearth, a melancholy coo following it. The coo is deep, ridden with sobs and stifling after each suck of breath.

Levi's brows furrow, stepping in lightly avoidance of the floor creak. Slowly, he shuffles to the opening in the door, curling his petite fingers at the edge to pull it open just a tad more so. Holding his breath, he peaks inside. He first catches glimpse of the fire, settled upon a few logs of wood and mountainous cinders below it; kept back like a dam by metal spades. His gaze trailed upward, mounted above the hearth is a collection of game busts. The crowning piece being a moose, his large antlers caked in dust and spiders spun intricate webs around them.

Shoving his face in a bit further, he cranes to see the edge of a red chair with clawed feet, two long, stalky legs situated in it. To see anymore, he'll have to open the door further... hanging off the arm of the chair is a hand, a bottle of dark wine in its clutches. The sobs pause, the bottle raises and disappears from Levi's view as an audible swig is taken from it. Levi subconsciously inches forward, the floor under him groans at the tension. He freezes, eyes wide as his uncle's gaze snap over his shoulder.

Kenny's eyes are deeply sunken into their sockets, he looks... aged. Red streaks stain his cheeks, gaze still glassy with tears. Levi is about ready to run, he never saw his uncle in such a vulnerable state... strangely, the foreign look strikes fear into Levi. That is not even taking into account of him being caught awake at this hour.

A moment of silence is exchanged and Kenny makes no move to speak or to even wipe away his tears. Levi clutches his blanket tightly, pushing the door further open.

"You're crying..." he states the obvious, hoisting his blanket up higher on his shoulders. The slightest shift in his uncle's stature is flighting. Even as intimidating as Kenny is, it doesn't settle right with him to simply cower away when his uncle is hurting. Why is he distressed? He can't leave Kenny to his solitude without trying— Levi remembers of the times he wished someone was there to cradle him in his own distress. With his mother being sick and hiding his weakness from Kenny, he often feels alone. He doesn't want anyone else to feel that way.

Kenny sets his bottle down, reflexively making Levi scurry back into the refuge of the darkness. Levi's eyes flit to the open flames and to the corridor around him; evidently pining to warm himself by it. "Don't shy away," his uncle's voice croaks softly, raw from his crying, yet it is a far more gentle tone than he has every spoken to Levi with before. Levi nervously shuffles forward, watching his uncle unfurl a hand to him as if he's an animal hesitant of human contact. It isn't entirely wrong. "Why are you up so late?" He adds, wiping his cheeks with the back of his sleeve.

Levi bites his lips together, following Kenny's beckon and stepping into the room entirely. He doesn't even know how to explain why. Is this a trap? Lure him into admitting to his nightmares, only to be berated for them.

"Is it the storm?" His uncle prods, evoking a nod from Levi. "It has me up, too." Kenny isn't ignorant to Levi's blatant fear of him, if anything, it pains him. It's nothing, but his own fault.

Levi stops approximately a foot away from Kenny, not looking up at him. The warmth of the fire radiates around him, letting his blankets slip from his shoulders to not grow overheated. He doesn't know what to do, he's not alone with his uncle, often. His thoughts flicker back to his headless bear, how different his uncle behaved then in comparison to now.

Kenny's face grows sullen, head tilting. Levi is the spitting image of his mother and father. Kenny remembers when his father spoke so proudly of Levi's father, how he wished his daughter to marry him and bind their estates. He envied Levi's father, his own father doted and bonded with him more than Kenny- his own blood. He loathes Levi because of that, because he's so loved, because his father is a man he hated out of envy and mother who out-shined him; even as the youngest. They're all so fucking loved.

The spite consumed him, so much so that he loathed every breath that Levi's father drew in; so much so that he ensured that he took his last.

A hunting accident, they called it. It was indeed hunting, but there was no accident about it. Levi's father was an avid hunter, and there wasn't a time that he didn't extend an invitation to Kenny. To be frank, Kenny is a poor shot, and always declined it out of shame and fear of being showed up by him. However Kenny was no poor shot when the nefariousness within him broiled with conspiracies, so much so that he couldn't contain it anymore.

He stuck the bullet into Levi's father, he didn't believe he'd make the shot, but of all times, he did. At first, decadent satisfaction washed throughout Kenny's system, purveying an emotion of relief that he hadn't felt before. It died quickly as he watched the man's body crumble to the ground, the onslaught of his actions only being a secondary thought.

In cowardice, he dragged the man back to the manor, through the woods of the estate with blood exuding profusely from the corpse and called it an accident. An accident with an anonymous culprit, one that Kenny's father even vouched to seek vendetta. In mourning, his father's health declined greatly, rendering him emaciated and eventually died. Not long after, Kutchel was found to be with child... a child Kenny is responsible for being fatherless. If he had not pulled the trigger, perhaps his father would have grown to a wiser age, perhaps Kutchel would still be in good health with her husband.  
Kenny would of still been ungrateful, but the weight of his family's calamity is weighing only on his shoulders. Not a day went by that he didn't despise himself for it.

"Uncle?" Levi's voice brings Kenny back to reality, his empty gaze trailing back to his nephew. Levi's face and eyes are sickening to look at. Kenny reaches down, carding his hands under the child's arms and lifting him; his blankets thumping to the ground. Levi falls rigid, unsure to resist or to go with it as his uncle plops him into his lap. Kenny sighs, positioning Levi on his knee like a doll, unsure how to even hold him. Sometimes he'd see how Kutchel holds him, how she used to sing to Levi while brushing his raven locks in the garden when she was well. Kenny doesn't have the capability for any of that, having naught experience anything of the sort for himself.

Levi draws in a breath to speak, but revokes that idea to stare down at his dangling feet. After a few moments of mustering enough confidence, he speaks. "Why were you crying?" He turns his ice blue gaze to meet Kenny's charcoal ones.

Kenny's expression dims, leaning back in his seat. He gives Levi's head an uncomfortable pat— rather surprised by how silky Levi's hair is. Levi flinches from the graceless touch, but follows his uncle's guidance to lean into Kenny's chest to rest his head. "Nothing to fret over." Kenny pushes the words out hoarsely, feeling a sense of— adoration— as Levi grew lax in his lap, his eyelids growing heavy and fluttering shut as he fights to stay awake. Is this what it's like to not feel so bitter? To care for someone and not have a heart of spite? To want to— protect someone?

"Everyone cries." Levi murmurs vaguely under his breath, unable to stay conscious much longer when surrounded by the warmth of the flame. Maybe Uncle Kenny isn't so bad after all? He is far to groggy to ponder the thought any further.

Kenny is left to wonder what Levi could of possibly meant, analyzing his features as he drifts off. Kenny chews on the inside of his cheek, giving his thumbs a circular rub into the sides of Levi's noggin and lacing through his hair; unsure if this is the right thing to do. Whatever he's doing, it worked so well that Levi is soundly asleep in his arms. He sniffles, eyes watering all the more. Levi is unrightfully subjected to his resentment, and the only time he decided to make a change is once Levi's life is ruined. Fatherless, and soon to be motherless, Levi will soon be reliant on Kenny for survival, guidance and nurturing.

For now... none of that needs to be worried about— as the man hopes. He hopes to avoid the inevitable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of hints dropped in this chapter... ;)  
> A lot of my ideas of horror come from my own nightmares and dreams, or my ideas in general for any story, I really enjoy writing them out and sharing them.


	4. 4. Roots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every youth has a taste for adventure, Levi is a little reluctant while Eren thrives for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W   
> Graphic depictions of gore and violence, severely DARK themes.

...  
Kutchel's dead eyes drift in her son's direction, shifting every so often to different sections of the room. Not showing any kind of registration that her son is apart of the other objects in the room. She has grown to be utterly unresponsive to nearly all human interaction. For a period of time, she did seem to be getting better, only to decline more than ever. Two years have passed and over half of them were spent in silence. In that time, Levi's grown, he's not quite aware enough to foretell what everyone else has deducted from the start... but he knows. He still coyly clings onto the hope that his mother may, one day, rise out of her bed and scoop him into her arms.

However— his mother is nothing but a shell of the radiant woman she used to be and it has grown to be a normality in his life. As any child, he didn't ponder it too deeply, for the only memory of her jubilation is distant and faint. 

Even in her condition, Levi still visits her, even if he feels so alone in her company. He'd regale her with his daily chronicles, or sometimes take residence on the floor to quietly play with his toys. A couple times he just cried, calling to his mother who isn't really there. He can see her, but she's gone, so far gone. It's only a matter of time before he won't see her anymore. 

Levi sits in silence, near in a thin, armed chair with pink cushioning. In his lap is his bear, while he traced the stitches at its neck. His mind revisits the day that his uncle tore his bear in two, then to the night his uncle comforted him to rest in his lap. His uncle didn't change that night, for he is as brutish as always, but he no longer patronizes the boy for his interests. 

The original seams on the toy had grown sparse, tufts of cotton and feather stuck out of it. His mother had managed to stitch it up before she became unresponsive, perhaps it was the last thing she did. He hugs it tightly to his chest, eyes clenching shut just as the door clicks open, heavy footsteps shuffling in.

His eyes squint open, catching the glimmer of Dr.Grisha's spectacles.   
Levi perks up, not because of the Grisha's presence, but because of Eren, who always follows in behind him. His eyes seek Eren's, heart beating giddily. Grisha greets Levi with the tilt of his head, but says no words to Levi for they'd be wasted. When Eren is in the room, nothing else mattered to Levi; only that he is to be reunited with his friend again. 

Eren trails after his father, a devious smile adorning his cheeky features. He stops in the center of the doorway, feet shifting apart in preparation to run. Levi grips his bear by the arm, shifting to leap out of his chair, but falters when Eren begins to lunge back in sync. They both bide their time, waiting for who will make the first move, knowing this would inevitably result in a race to the garden. Unable to take it anymore, Levi lurches from his seat. On queue, Eren darts down the hallway, with Levi barreling after.

Eren is much faster than him, with longer legs and a muscular body. Although, Levi manages to kick up his legs till they burn, maintaining a few feet distance behind the Eren. Making every sharp turn down the hallway, sure to not slip on the rug for it'd been rehearsed amongst the children for what it felt, one thousand times. Eren cackles breathily, "you can't keep up!" He taunts, glancing behind himself to a red-faced Levi. Levi gives a discouraged look from Eren's words. His pace slows with a heavy huff for air.

Eren's smile falters, slowing down, he reaches out a hand behind himself for Levi to take. He won't leave him behind. Levi takes the Eren's hand thankfully, tripping over himself as they make their way into to the garden.

The air greets their cheeks warmly, it's a mid-autumn day with the sun high in the sky. Perhaps the occasional breeze renders a chill down their spines, but none of that can faze the hardy youths.  
Their pace slows as Eren leads them through the main gates of the garden, which is now not only Levi's sanctuary, but Eren's as well. Their kingdom, for them and only them to share.

Most of the shrubbery and other plants are shriveled and withering by this time of year, but old dogwoods stood tall and proud with their blossoms which are tinged brown at the ends. Soon and their time would be up as well.

Eren's grip slips from Levi's as they come to a stumbling halt. Eren falls backwards into the grass patch below them. Levi gives a small smile, gripping his bear tightly to his chest as he tucked his legs underneath him to sit beside Eren. He missed Eren greatly, it's been a few weeks since they've last spoken.

A set of fingers tangle in Levi's hair, Levi's shoulder blades pin together from the sudden touch. He glances at Eren, whose hand drifts away just as quickly they came, twirling a little yellow flower in his hands. Levi reaches up and gently patted by his ear, feeling a bit delicate flower resting in his hair. There must be a few straggling patches around for Eren to of plucked any. Eren must have been lucky that a patch is near him.

Eren huffs and sits up, "I want to play a game."

Levi purses his lips, leaning away from Eren as he begins to stand. His eyes flit to a nearby tree. Last time they played, Eren encouraged him to successfully climb a tree for the first time... after dozens of not-so-successful attempts in the past. Levi was sure to climb more trees since then, so he is nothing short of a pro now. At least, that's what he tells himself. He's already desperate to show off his new climbing capabilities. "We could climb trees!" He replies with enthusiasm.

"That's not a game." He hears Eren grumble behind him, making him pout.

"Ohh... we can play tea! Or family... or..." Levi trails off, glancing back over his shoulder to Eren, who is staring off into the direction of the tree line. "We can play jacks, too."

Eren shakes his head languidly, raising his hand to point in the direction of the woods— Levi's throat tightens. "I wanna do something different. I wanna play in there."  
Levi swivels to meet Eren's direction to shake his head vigorously. "No, we can't... mother forbade it."

"Why?" Eren quips, "don't you want an adventure?" He crosses his arms at his chest.

"Well..." Levi drawls, gazing to the tree line that towers over the walls of the garden. Its canopy blocks out all sunlight, rendering the forest to hold a dark loom to it. His heart clenches, urging him to give his head another shake. He'd never go against his mother's word— he'd never want to go in there. He reminisces upon the stories of wolves who prey on children that wander off into woods like this— imagining what wicked beast would be waiting to gobble him up. "There's so many other things we could do-"

Eren takes one of the Levi's hands into his, "we'll be back before anyone even knows it. It's not like your mother can find out,"  
Levi's expression turns bitter, glancing to the woods again and back to Eren. He wasn't wrong, but Levi didn't want him to be right. "Promise?" Besides... he's only afraid of the fairy tales.

"Promise." Eren sticks out a pinky to be locked with Levi's.

Levi stares at it reluctantly, momentarily linking his own with it and giving them a shake. 

A large smile stretches across Eren's features, grasping Levi's hand to tug him along to the trees. The closer they draw near, the higher Levi cranes his head to watch just how mightily the old, wood giants stood over him. Each footstep of his own drowns his ears in his own heartbeat. Thick layers of dried pine crunches under their feet amongst other decaying leaves. His grip on his bear tightened, listening to the soft rustle of the trees or groaning of old wood.  He found it— fascinating— for something he feared so much to be so serene. 

"See?" Eren inquires, "it's not so bad,"  
Levi gives a small nod, glancing behind them, the manor is still visible through the trees. 

"I don't want to go far..."

Eren stops, releasing his hold on Levi's hand, "we don't have to go any farther than this," Eren marches a few paces and leans into Levi's view for his attention.  
Levi blinks a few times, chewing on his lip. Eren is looking at him expectantly, did he ask something? Not that Levi recalls... 

"What is it that you want to play?"

Eren straightens his back and gives his arms a big stretch, analyzing their surroundings. "Hide n' seek."  
"o-out here?" Levi nearly croaked incredulously, "we could have played that in the garden, where it's s-" it was one thing to venture out here— another to be left alone in it. So many trees, all looking so much alike, it's a blatant invitation to get lost.

"But that's no fun! We already know each other's hiding places. Just one game, please?" Eren pouts, making Levi almost want to groan in his defeat. Any time Eren pulls that face, he could get anything to go his way. 

"Alright." Levi sighs audibly, digging the toe of his shoe into the dirt below them.  
Eren corresponds with clapping his hands over Levi's shoulders, positioning him a few paces off. "Good! Now close your eyes... and I'll be hiding. Ready?"

Levi nods.

With a grin, Eren gives Levi three spins, watching Levi sway and stagger in place. "Count to ten." The younger boy leant over, pressing a chaste kiss to Levi's forehead before running off as quickly as possible.

Levi's eyes blow open wide, his cheeks flaring a dark pink with stun. He reaches up to touch the spot Eren had kissed, his head snapping from left to right in search of Eren... but he disappeared in a mere instance. "One..." Levi calls out aloud, his hand retreating to his bear again as he steps forward. It isn't often that Eren kisses him, or let him kiss Eren. They're special to him, as is Eren.

As far as Levi knows, hand-holding and kisses on the cheeks were getting somewhere.

"Two..." Levi peaks behind a tree, his gaze following up the thick trunk. Footsteps patter behind him, the sound of poorly muffled giggles following; evoking a smug grin on Levi's face. He closes his eyes again, pretending that he hasn't already broke the rules. "Threee!" He swivels around with a puffed chest, marching forward. "Four, five, six, seven!" He lists off the numbers with each footstep, covering his eyes so he can peak through the gaps of his fingers. "Eight, nine, ten!" Levi draws his hands away and cards them into some shrubbery, pulling the branches away. He pouts, nothing but dirt is revealed to him. He was so sure this was where Eren hid. "Ready or not, here I come!" Levi shouts as loudly as he can, his breath forming a white mist. 

The forest dims, the warmth in the air diminishing; biting at Levi's unprotected cheeks and fingers. He whines quietly to himself, heart thrumming. 

He reminds himself to stay positive, trying the same enthusiasm by jumping behind the next tree... and the next... until he finds himself wandering deeper into the forest. 

Everything appears the same in all four directions. "Eren!" Levi calls out, his breath growing more shallow. "I don't want to play anymore, so please just come out!"  
A raven rasps out a cry from a branch above, causing Levi to quake in his own boots, at this rate, he'll be pissing down his leg if he sees so much as a rabbit. He watches the bird fly off, squawking piercingly. A high-pitched shrill rings in the distance, echoing throughout the forest. Levi's heart plummets to his gut, "Eren!" Levi chokes out a holler back, the cry only grows more guttural and ghastly. Derived out of pure terror, like prey giving its futile calls out as its predator tears into it.

"Levi!" The voice calls back, making Levi's breath hitch. The tips of his fingers even pulse with the rate his heart hammers, flooding his ears with the beat of its drums. All he can think of is the beast, the horrible beast. The one in every children's tale, the one they're always told to be wary of. What happens to little boys who get lost in the woods? They're devoured.

Levi can't even debate the reality of the situation if Eren is playing some cruel joke, the shrills are far too agonizing to have any question about them. Levi inches back a footstep, the screams echoing throughout the woodland once more, almost drowned out by Levi's erratic heart beat. He can't leave, not without Eren. No matter how much his instincts yell at him to turn tail for the other direction, his will denies him from doing any of the sort. Eren is always so valiant, he'd already be running to Levi's rescue... now it is Levi's turn, if only he could bring himself to move.

His feet feel like weights, too heavy to move. He edges one step forward, adding another and elongating his stride until he began running. 

"Eren!" Levi screams out hoarsely, his throat burning. His eyes flit across the darkening horizon of trees. Nothing, all directions, nothing, nothing, nothing. Hope is slim, but what little he has, he clutches-  
A soft groan emanates from his right, causing his head to snap on his shoulders as he comes to a halt; tripping over his own feet.

The blood in his veins, the pumping of his heart, his lungs contracting air, even his mind, they all freeze. 

Never should any child witness the sight of spilled crimson, flesh being seared and frothed between bestial chops. Eren lies there, head tilted back for his empty emerald eyes to bore permanent holes into Levi.

Blood seeps from every orifice of his face, excluding his eyes, dried tears cake his strained temples. Levi watched the other boy's final breath escape his paled lips, his arm outstretched to the raven's direction, fingers limp and curled.

Beasts loom over him, jostling Eren's body each time they dig their muzzles deeper into his gut. Levi's vision blurs, each breath growing more and more shallow. He can't specify how many of the beasts he sees, all appearing to be reflected from one another and no distinct form. Nor what they even are— only that they crowd over Eren. Their tar hides stretch tightly over protruding muscles and veins, built unevenly. One of the beasts jerks its head back, tendons of flesh shredding at its pull. Eren's innards stretch like aged elastic; once pulled too far, it snaps, sputtering blood astray.

The blood of Levi's friend fleck across his face, hitching the air in Levi's throat— evoking a petrified whine from him. That was his folly, the sound of sopping flesh ceases almost instantaneously. All of their eyes are on him, if that's what he could call them. Their sockets appear gouged or perhaps even— blotted out— like a nicotine singe through paper. Their faces are nearly skeletal, patches of fur hung by loose skin, pulling back to bare their deviant grins.

Meat slips from the chops of one of the creatures, triggering their spines to prickle into lunges. Levi's grip on his bear loosens, flight already screaming at his nerves and burning the adrenaline in his veins. A scream bubbles in his throat, but no voice came to accommodate it. The muscles of one of the beasts begin to contract backward, Levi whips around, his bear falling from his hold as he kicks his legs into the earth to flee.

He doesn't care for the direction, only that he ran as far away as possible. How far can this weak body take him? He couldn't even save Eren, how does he expect to save himself? Does he want to save himself? Tears stream down the sides of his cheeks and the corners of his eyes as he runs. Thunder... no... he can hear the pounding of a small army fleet— maybe it's his heart— or perhaps the beasts. He doesn't know, only that it is getting louder, and louder... closer. The forest has grown so dark, he is missing the trunks of trees and bulging roots by sheer luck. The pounding grew louder and to his side, drawing his attention to its direction in the trees. He could see something running with him, kicking off tree to tree and evoking groans and shreds of wood upon contact. 

A thin, flexible root yanks at his foot, tightening at his ankle and pulling him down into the dirt.

His body crashes down with one big smack, belly-first into the ground. His head clunks against a fallen branch, rousing a deafening pitch to ring in his ears, drowning out his heartbeat, the pack of beasts, everything. He lies limply, staring out into blackness as the root at his ankle grew tighter. Slowly, his body is pulled down, dragging him across the woodland floor.

Roots weave and whip around his calve, almost like one hand after another. Levi blinks deliriously, blood already beginning to seep from the wound on his head. Weakly, he looks over his shoulder, only to have reality come crashing down onto him. The wicker at his legs are actually hands, his eyes trailing along its wrists and a pair of arms, all the way to the face of the monstrosity that is using him to hoist itself out of the soil.

It has the formation of a man, his silhouette broad in the moonlight. It gurgles and wheezes with gunk is caught in its throat. As the creature's hand clamps further up his thigh, it leans forward for the moonlight to just catch glimmer of his face. It is the same man Levi saw in his dreams years ago— jawless and all too real. 

Instinctively, Levi shrills out gutturally, writhing and drawing his free leg back to deliver a kick into the creature's face with all his might. The thing releases an ungodly hiss, sputtering more of its blackened gunk all over his legs. Levi doesn't falter, the gunk stinging and broiling into his skin. He kicks relentlessly until its fingers loosen enough for him to slip away. He scoots back against the dirt, scrambling to his feet uneasily. The world around him spins, and all he can do is cry out until his throat tastes of copper. His eyes dart around, nothing is around, he's alone... no beasts, no man, not even the crow of a raven... but he can still feel them. Panic thick in his veins, pupils shrunken in the darkness. His gaze falls back to the place the man had just been, only to be met with a pile of leafs. He breathes raggedly amongst whines, reaching up to grip himself by the scalp.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up!" He rasps to himself, unable to decipher if this is real anymore. Even if he is awake— he is still lost—alone— in a dark, cold forest. He shakes his head, staggering a few feet aside before turning around. He trots weakly, his body simply wishing to collapse under him. 

"Eren!"

"Levi!"

"Levi, Eren!"

Voices echo around Levi, unable tell where they come from, or who they come from. Levi's eyes flit around, freezing as he makes out two distinct lantern glimmers though the trees. He almost lets out a sob, "I'm here!" He croaks out, his voice high in pitch. 

..."Eren." The name is a low groan from Levi's lips, holding a somber meaning to him that it ever had before. The calls of their names cease, or it is but a pause. All feels too long to Levi.

"Levi!" Kenny's voice hollers, "where are you, boy?" The lights of their lanterns dance along the tree line as they run to Levi's direction. Levi nearly trips over himself as he hastens his pace. How is he supposed to return without Eren? He glances into the forest depths as he walks. He doesn't deserve to make it out alive, no one can know what he did. His desires to be strong and to one day protect Eren are now a joke-- no one can know just how much he failed him. He faces the treeline, outstretching his arms as his uncle grows more visible. He never thought he could be so elated to greet such a man. 

Kenny drops down to his knees with glassy eyes as Levi breaks from the treeline, covered in blood and dirt. He pays no mind to it as Levi clobbers into him, sobbing and wailing. Grisha stares down solemnly at Levi, catching Kenny's eye. His son is still out there— as far as their knowledge precedes.

"Levi..." Kenny reaches up, stroking the back of his head gently, "we need you to tell us the last place you saw Eren..."

Levi's crying pauses for a moment as he sucks in a sharp breath, gripping the fabric of his uncle's suit and doubling his sobbing in volume.

"I couldn't find--" Levi is interrupted by a fit of hiccups, "I-I couldn't find him, the monsters-!" Levi halted himself, shaking his head and smearing his snotty face into Kenny's dress coat, "He's still in there!" The lie stings to tell, but is so sweet to convince himself it to be true.

Kenny nearly rips Levi off of him to get a look at his face, handing the lantern off to Grisha. He tugs a handkerchief from his breast pocket, wiping up the blood from Levi's eyes and cheeks. "Monsters? You mean wolves? Bears? What did you see-" Kenny is evidently no help to Levi's hysteria, he'd just been through they-don't-know-what and needs to be cared for.

"Bring him back," are the only distinguishable words Levi repeated, over and over. Whether they were a plea to Kenny or to God, he doesn't know. His gaze meets Grisha's, who returned it with a knowing glint. The look burns into Levi, almost as though he knows that Levi is a pusillanimous liar. This only evokes another another ragged sob from Levi, echoing into the silence of the night. He brings his sleeves up to cover his eyes. Unable to look at Grisha, the father of Eren, Eren's abuser and blood... not while he bares a new weight of what happened to Eren. His dear friend, his promised to be, is now gone because of him.

Kenny sighs, hoisting Levi into his arms like an infant and cradles him to his side. Levi clings to his torso, hiding his face in the crook of Kenny's neck. Kenny's gaze lands on Grisha, who is staring out into the forest emptily. "I can't keep him out here any longer," Kenny rubs the back of Levi's head and back. "I'll get him cleaned up and see if I can calm him down, then we can hea-"

"No." Grisha's eyes tear from the woodland depths, his lantern lowering to his side. "He's gone." Not even an ounce of emotion is behind his voice.

Kenny's eyes widen, dumbfounded by the Grisha's indifference. "We can't just leave him out here! He's a damn boy for chris'sake, YOUR boy!" Kenny's voice had raised, his words barreling into the night with anguish. Just as Levi's crying had grown to a whine, he bursts out wailing again, trying Kenny's patience with Grisha. 

"Fine." Kenny spits, his nose crinkling, "I will find your boy, but he isn't going home with you." Nothing can piss Kenny off more than a man who doesn't love his son. He snatches his lantern from Grisha's hand, scowling at him, up and down.

Grisha's grip tightens on his lantern, watching Kenny turn to leave. He has no words to quip with, perhaps all emotion pertaining to his son has been devoid from the start. Whether he were to physically see his son or not holds no difference to him. His gaze falls, he pined and plead to the lord that he took his scorn of a son away, to give him his wife back instead. Now as punishment, the lord took his son and his wife... he is left alone, more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried a l o t writing this, trust me.  
> But it'll all work out I promise!! I remember writing "Levi's Lover" shortly after this part because I needed THERAPY. My baby boy... ;;;


	5. 5. Budding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without death, there is no reason to live at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the somewhat delayed update? I was struggling with some things for a bit there... it's funny to think I already started writing this story about a year ago and I already believe I can write better than this. I still love it dearly, it's fun to go back and edit it and put in new, better sentences.  
> I suppose I take so long with a factor being I edit this all by myself! But it's so complicated that I don't think a beta would be able to help ;;  
> I hope y'all can forgive me!

...  
Eren's hand slips into Levi's, giving a checkered smile. His cheeks are flushed and ruddy, eyes still glimmering with vigor. Levi smiles along with him, only naturally. Despite how youthful and hardy Eren appears, his hands are frigid. His gaze drops down to their clasped hands, the breeze sweeping around them with no touch. Eren is not the one who is cold. 

It's as though Levi is detached, on another plane and the only thing that binds them together are their hands. He doesn't feel the warmth of the sun that kissed at Eren's cheeks and glistens in his hair, not even the fragrance of summer daisies being carried through the air. If he lets go, he could lose this visage— he could lose Eren. Everything is so wretchedly gelid, each intake of breath burning at his throat. He watches  Eren speak, but no sound comes from him. Levi shakes his head, eyes growing glassy with tears, "I can't hear you!"

Eren pulls on his hand, his smile still plastered to his face, is he trying to get away? Levi tries to grip Eren by the wrist but it only permits their hands to slip apart. Levi's heart hammers against his chest and in his ears, the idea of letting go horrifying deeply with no understanding as to why. The smile on Eren's face dissipates in sync with the sun being shut out of the sky... The gentle breeze that whisked past them turns to dead air. The world around him shriveled up, withering away into nothing as he shook his head to the raven-haired boy. His eyes dimmed, and Levi still gripped to the brunette's wrist with all his might. It's as though they're being torn apart, separated by an invisible force. Tears streamed down his face, his cries echoing endlessly as he begged Eren to not leave him.

"I have to go." Eren whispers, silencing Levi immediately. His breath hitches, fingers growing lax against his volition till he can't hold onto Eren any longer. Eren smiles somberly as he draws away. His flesh no longer appears living, like porcelain. His flesh chips away from his cheeks and limbs as he moves, crumbling into dust. Levi's arms surge out, throwing them around the Eren, he can't lose him, he won't let it happen.

His touch brings Eren to shatter in his embrace, his debris puddling down to the Levi's feet. Tears usher down Levi's cheeks, gaping at his empty arms, trembling. At his feet lies shards of a doll— he drops to his knees, taking one into his hand. It is the sculpt of Eren's cheek, nose and eye. Levi whines incoherently, bringing it up to his own cheek. "I'm so sorry," he murmurs quietly, pulling it back to look at it. Only to find that the shard is gone from his hands, replaced with a flower with purple petals in his hands. Its stem was long, dark and thin with furry leafs sprouting at the end. Sniffling, he traces the petals, watching the veins within it blacken.

...

Levi toys with the petals of a flower in his hands, staring at the tree line unblinkingly. The veins— faint— but they're clear. A tea set positioned at his side in the grass, teddy in lap. Kenny had brought it back a while ago, missing a limb and caked in muck. For some time, Kenny would set out for the woodland with their finest hounds on a leash, the man just about searched every inch of that forest. 

First couple days, he worked in haste, even hiring men with the offer of a reward to any who found the 'lost' little boy. No one directly told Levi, but defeat embedded itself into the deploring look of his uncle's gaze as he only returned with a stuffed bear. They knew they were only looking for a body— already to Levi's knowledge. It was cruel of him to lie, but it is so much easier to convince himself that there is still hope. He doesn't want to loathe himself for not being strong enough, for always being the one to fray away when it mattered most. 

 

Thus, he came out here often, bringing all of his toys and any sweets he could pilfer from the kitchens to just sit there. He did not play, he did not speak, the most he did was fiddle with his hands and sometimes he just cried softly. He had no desire to play, not anymore. He rapidly outgrew his dolls months ago, or perhaps he outgrew the desire to be a child or to even live the marked day that he would see Eren no longer. 

 

He does this to pay his penance, that he may lessen the burden if he pretended every day that if he waited, Eren may emerge from the forest depths unharmed. Perhaps he up keeps this charade so well that he is beginning to truly to believe in it. He plucks a petal from the flower, holding it up and watching it flicker in the breeze between his thumb and index before letting it go. The wind whisks it away, carrying it into the woodland that spans before him. If he plucks enough petals, the wind could take them to where he couldn't— to Eren— and lead him home.

Even his attempts at maintaining hope can't resist the toll of time, slowly swallowing him with each lie he told himself and making him numb because he no longer had any perception of the truth. Eren will never return, no matter how long he waits, no amount of childish wishes, pitiful sobs will change that. 

Eventually, he stopped visiting the tree line, or even so much as a step into the garden's walls. The last day he was there, he shouted "To hell with you! To hell with this, to everything!" And threw his beloved tea set into the forest, some of the China smashed against tree bark or clashed against one another. He didn't know why he screamed those words, hearing it bellow back to him as it grew more faint served a sting of finality to him; that he is truly alone. 

The memory of his promise haunts him, the promise he abandoned. He can hear it in the whispers of the breeze, the silence of the night, or even in the ticking of the clock. Some nights, he relives the memory of it, some to think such a happy memory to be a blessing, but it has became a curse. It only numbed him a little more each time, until it drove him utterly devoid of feeling. Watching his mother die all the while, a new sickness sinking its teeth into Levi— one that may be her killer as well. It takes you at your weakest point, slowly manifesting itself and devouring all of your emotion to grow until you're nothing, but a shell. That is not enough for it— it's insatiable— even as you have nothing left to give, it will begin to drain your vitality as well. 

No one deserves to die this way, it is pitifully miserable. He remembers holding his mother's hand, how frail her fingers had grown to be, flesh merely hanging by the bone. Her once beautiful, raven hair had turned to a dusty grey, ragged and dry. The bedside reached about his waist now, he no longer having to pull himself up to see her sunken face. He spoke to her, telling her of the promise, how he broke it, how he no longer feel's Eren's warmth and each day, it grows colder. She hasn't responded to anyone in years, Levi couldn't remember the last time she even moved or shown any kind of response on her own volition. 

As far as they know, she could be deaf. He thought he was imagining it as she turned her head, her eyes like gouges into Levi's soul. She squeezes Levi's hand, her lips twitching into a faint smile for a moment. He's imagining this. But it faded away, and so did she, once more. Whatever remnants within her have been devoured by the sickness. 

What a pitiful way to die. Levi's sinks, it is cruel to let her rot away like this, day by day. No one deserves this, to exist only as a shell of the life they used to be and live trapped in their own body. There's nothing to lose. She's already dead, merely trapped in this shell that slowly deteriorates over time. 

Levi's eyes drift to the pillow beneath his mother's head, he could take away all of her pain. He doesn't know what proposed the thought, he doesn't even question it. He grasps a corner of the pillow and gingerly tugs it from beneath her head. He grips it in his clutches, "you won't have to suffer anymore," His throat tightens as he emits these words, they don't feel like they're his own. He is compelled to speak them, entranced almost with a dull pain forming in him. 

He crawls onto the bed and over his mother's form, pausing there a moment... taking in his mother's expression, hoping she'll turn and smile at him one more time. Just one more time to stop him. Her eyes are shut, already so tranquil. "I'll free you," Levi murmurs, watching a tear slip down his mother's features. He almost hesitates, but it only resurges the inability to witness this anymore. 

He closes the pillow over her head, pressing down firmly. His eyes clench shut as his mother's body convulses and twitches below him... all before falling still. Levi whines quietly with a quivering lip, tears slipping down his cheek. He draws the pillow away, exposing his mother's face; her mouth agape and eyes rolled back. He sighs shakily, prodding out his grubby index to shakily bring her eyelids down to shut and pressing her jaw to a close.

He leans down, pressing his ear to her chest as tears trail down his cheeks, tossing the pillow to the floor. Where he would usually hear her heart beat thudding back to him with welcome, there is nothing on the inside. He clutched the fabric of her night gown, he wished he could be free with her. Perhaps he'd find redemption with her, or be reunited with Eren.

...  
Marble statuettes of angels weeping and falling in grace scatter the cemetery, ivy constricting their delicate frames into crumbling at the surface. Each headstone marked with the name "Ackerman", only the exception of a few miscellaneous married names.

Levi stands at his uncle's side, Kenny's hand heavy on his shoulder as the wind nips at their cheeks. They are adorned in all black, clutching baby's breath and blushing crimson roses. His mother deserves white petals at her day of final farewells, she was a woman of ambiguity, but no one could deny the radiance she had that is now nothing, only a faint memory. She deserves to be remembered that way. The casket is lowered slowly, his face reflecting against the ebony wood. Fog looms over the horizon and dims out the sky to a solid grey. A truly wretched day to bid her a farewell. The sun moves about in the clouds, occasionally breaking to warm their backs.

It is only him and his uncle who are bidding her farewell, excluding a bald priest standing solemnly at aside with a bible in his clutches. His chins spill out of his stiff, white collar with round bifocals perched upon a fat nose. Tears well up at Levi's eyes, he can't fathom why. He came to terms with this at a very young age, that her days were coming to an end... only now it is a reality to see her sealed away, seven feet under. Kenny claps Levi on the back, staggering Levi, glancing up to Kenny in inquiry. His uncle gestures to the grave, insinuating that Levi ought to drop his rose in. The grave diggers lean on their shovels with cigarettes dangling from their pallid lips; gazing at Levi expectantly. 

Levi's eyes fall down to the rose in his hands, a tear slipping down his cheek as he brings it up to his nose to take one last acquiescent inhale of the bud's dainty fragrance. Scuffling forward, he fiddles with the petals until reaching toes end with the ledge. He glances over his shoulder to his uncle, his face wan, already carding a hand into his breast pocket to pull out a cigar. He gives Levi a curt nod as he clips off the end of his panetela. 

Levi swallows hard, gripping the petals and shredding them from the stem of the flower roughly. He discards the stem, crinkling the once soft, beautiful petals in his hold till they bleed. He sprinkles them in between squeezed fingers, watching the mutilated petals plop down onto the casket, clump by clump until his hands are empty. He stands there solemnly for a good time, the gravediggers already beginning to shovel in piles of dirt. Levi watches his reflection intently, slowly covered with each splat of dirt until he could see himself no more. 

Kenny eyes Levi glowering into the grave, taking a prolonged puff of his cigar.   
He found Levi cuddling Kutchel's corpse— by the very air of the room and the soulless stare on Levi's face— he knew something was amiss... when asked of her passing, Levi only answered vaguely, "she's with father." Kenny never heard Levi speak of his father— not even in a morose way. To hear those words snared into him deeply, his nephews eyes flickering up to meet his amongst tears; those same eyes that belonged to the man he killed. Kenny's gaze tears away from Levi, rubbing the corner of his eye with a gloved knuckle as he exhales smoke. 

The priest approaches him from aside, "I'm terribly sorry for the loss." The man shakes his head, the skin hanging from his chin flapping after. He glances to Levi, who coincidentally turned to meet eyes with both of the men. The priest's gaze averts, as though Levi is something forbidden to meet eyes with. "The poor boy... it's a tragedy." The priest gives his thin, already wet lips a lick that irks Kenny to the core. "I fear that—" the priest places a hand onto Kenny's back, guiding Kenny to walk with him. The priest has to strain to reach high enough to speak to Kenny in a soft tone and remain audible. "He may be troubled."

Kenny was silent for a long moment before digressing, "you smoke, Father?" Pulling a cigar from his breast pocket, "Just between us." Kenny shrugs. He also has a canteen of gin stuffed into one of his pockets, he'd have to pat himself down to find it. He's very aware of Levi's aloofness, the sweet child he held shame for is no longer there. He never thought he'd actually miss that damn sissy.

"N-no, I mustn't-" the priest gives a fervent shake of his head, fumbling with his words.

Midst the men converse, Levi is left to his own. A shiver clambering down his spine as a gust of wind sweeps past him, carrying a soft whisper with it. An unintelligible one, but with a familiar coo, one of a person. It rouses his eyes from their affixed gloom to search for the source, to no avail. The whispers grow to a muse, humming along as Levi follows the direction of the wind. Looming over just a hill, outside of the lowly risen, rock walls, the woodland begins. Old wood groans and bellows as bare branches scratch together from the wind, an unharmonious tune with the soft lullaby. 

Something cracks behind him, straightening Levi's spine straighten as he spins around to look, but something small and hard thwacks him just behind the ear from the other direction. Hand surging up, he clasps his head to emit a bitter whine, brows furrowing as he faces forward once more. At his feet is an old acorn, which is odd because there aren't any acorn trees beyond the woodland. A faint, childish snicker echoes around him; just soft enough that he could mistake it for anything. A small head full of brunette hair peaks from just behind a headstone in his peripheral view, eyes glimmering brightly. Levi's heart plummets in his chest, elation riveting through him. He instinctively averts his eyes in its direction; but is met with nothing that he presumed to be there. 

Beneath the ivy that coils around the stone, a set of grubby fingers tap in queue before slipping away from sight. Levi bites his lip, a small grin forming, he has to be imagining this. He knew so. "Eren?" Levi drawls, taking a step forward, "please?" The name felt so foreign on his lips, a dead one, he hadn't spoken of his one of affinity for perhaps years.

As Levi closes in, the faint snickers from before erupt into a series of giggles, clear as day and crisp as air. Almost shattering any doubt of this being apart of Levi's imagination, he lurches forward with glee. His heart is invigorated again, all combusting with hope. After all this time, Eren was still hiding, right? It has to be so. Behind the headstone, Levi's eyes find nothing. Only a lonesome flower, plucked with a black, bristled stem. Its petals are a distinct violet, greying at the tips. He kneels to pick it up, a set of petite footsteps dart past him and quickly draws his attention to them. He surges up to his feet again, sucking in a sharp breath as he met eyes with a pair of celadon ones. They are the same pair of glimmering emeralds that he grew to know— only the whites have been drowned out in the sea of green with blank, colorless pupils boring into him. Levi is so enraptured with them that he didn't even process the gaze as any different from the Eren in his memories. The brunette boy's eyes crinkled at the cheeks as he gave the elder boy a rather grim smile, sticking out a grubby hand to beckon Levi.

As Levi steps forward, Eren mirrors him in reverse; gradually making the Levi's face scrunch up bitterly. "Stop that!" He cries, outstretching his arms, taking a larger step forward. It's been so long and Eren won't even let Levi hug him? Tears gather in Levi's eyes as he watches Eren shake his head. Eren turns around to run if Levi gains any further pace. Levi coyly chases after Eren, growing closer to the tree line by each footstep, the whispers growing more violent— almost deafeningly. He halts to clamp his hands over his ears as Eren disappears into the woodland, crying out his friend's name in futility. 

Kenny looks back over his shoulder to see that Levi is no longer in sight. He hasn't the reason to panic, hence there is not much of a place he could go—until he heard Levi's shrill in the distance. His coal gaze turns back to the stout priest's whose eyes bored widely. Without further hesitation, both of the men spur forth in search of Levi; the priest almost in Kenny's dust. "Levi!" Kenny shouts, halting by the end gates of the cemetery, keening for Levi's location. Over the stone walls, he could hear a soft, miserable sob.

Levi's holds his head between his knees, the voices now roaring for him to enter the forest, an absolute collision of ghastly tones. For a moment, all falls silent, only a minute ring in his ears remain. He peaks his eyes open, his gaze first meeting the forest, glimpsing Eren wave to him in gesture to follow in the brush. Levi blinks, rising to his feet to follow absent-minded.

A heavy hand clamps over his shoulder, instinctively causing him to whip around. His heart plummets, his nose immediately assaulted with the pungent smell of decay. The hand belongs to a ghastly, mutilated face. A jaw hanging down to his clavicle and coagulation sputtering from him... here, in broad daylight. Here, not a dream, Levi's veins run cold. The creature's skin is translucent and a depleted shade of blue in the sun, each sear in his flesh glistening with the inky gunk. Levi's breath shallows, fingers curling as the creature's dead eyes blink at him in lethargy. He rips his shoulder away with all his might, crying out piercingly.

He looks to the forest, outstretching an arm, "Eren! Eren! Ere-!" Levi gulps as the beast's arms clamp around his gut, hoisting him up. Levi flails, growling and spitting like a rabid animal. A hand comes up to clap over his mouth, but his teeth sinks into the putrid flesh with a loud growl. The mitt shirks away with a drowned hiss, allowing him writhe his way out of the creature's limbs. He smacks against the ground, back-first.

"Got-damnit, boy!"  Kenny hollers, but Levi persists to kick away any hands that grab at him. 

Kenny raises his hand, pinning Levi down— who snarls like a damn beast— his hand swiping down to strike Levi across the face. The collision echoes through the forest, birds flying astray and evoking a gasp from the priest behind. Levi's body falls to a still. His head rag-dolls back into the grass, blood beginning to seep from his nostrils.

Kenny's chest heaves, staring down to Levi in disbelief. "What am I going to do with you?" He ponders quietly under his breath. He glances over his shoulder to the priest, who's quaking in his own bones with his rosary wrapped at his fist. His eyes drop dismissively, hoisting Levi up into his arms with a grunt. He can't pretend that Levi is normal anymore, that he can't see his nephew slipping away from reality. He doesn't know what he can do with him, he isn't a father, he isn't a caregiver, Levi is beyond help.

Levi silently watches the forest grow smaller and smaller from Kenny's shoulder as he is carried back. Crimson liquid profusely dribbles from his nose, onto his uncle's nice dress coat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if y'all liked anything or have any predictions for the next chapters... I'm interested!  
> My tumblr: erericultist  
> Insta: rirencultist  
> Share this with ya fellow horror lovers, yea? Anyone up for a dark story, I'd love to engage with my readers!

**Author's Note:**

> I was craving to do something gothic, horrifying and Victorian. I wanted to do something twisted, since I've been filtering myself in writing a lot before. As of now, I no longer write with a filter. I'm very proud of myself for it.  
> I hope you guys like it so far! I plan on posting relatively large chapters!


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